||[Sep. 5th, 2006|12:37 am]
Lost Books of Kingdom Hearts
(continued from here)|
Sora son of Mickey was awoken in due time by Kairi, She Of Many Names. She is the Pure of Heart, one of the Great Threesome of Canon lore, and the Keeper of the Fruit of Destiny; she awoke the sleeping Chosen with a whack to the head and the words "You bum!", for they were both deserved and true.
(Her other names are fit only for fannish ears. Bitch, she is called, and Fag Hag, and Stupid Whore - heed not these lies, for they come from Fanon!)
And in time Riku joined them, Riku of the Threesome, Slightly Emo Walker in Darkness; and he pointed out that they were both bums, really; and it was true. And Sora and he did not fall to buttsecks in the sand, but instead went about their task of building a raft, while the Pure Heart wove a charm of great potency of thalassa shells to aid the Threesome in their journey. And Sora told his companions not of his dreams, for they were probably dumb anyway.
(The faithless may question their wisdom. "Yeah, right," they might say. "Like three mushrooms is gonna last them long enough to cross the WHOLE FREAKING OCEAN. Why is the raft called 'Excalibur' again? I like the sound of 'Deathwish.'" True fangirls of the One must heed not such doubts, for the One will guide His chosen.)
In the search for provisions, Sora came across a Cryptic Stranger (who was not the same as the Cryptic Voice, REALLY) and sought enlightenment to the other's nature. "Who are you?" he asked, and other such pleasantries, and the shining light and innocence of the King spoke through him. But the Stranger laughed and made no useful reply. So the wisdom of the One taught the Son of Mickey a great lesson: Bad guys don't usually answer your questions. And Sora thought no more of the Stranger, but went home to his mom.